OUR US TOUR!
Posted by Death Is Not Glamorous on 12-01-2007
Hey, sorry about our slow updateage. This is the tour diary I (christian) wrote while we were driving places & seeing things in America. Stay tuned for new tunes, new tours, and good times in '08.
THE NEW DOWN AND OUTS RECORD IS FUCKING AWESOME.
c
COMING TO AMERICA - A PLAY-BY-PLAY TOUR ACCOUNT
I'd like to preface this piece of writing with a brief explanation of it's documentary style. As this tour was by far our longest and most ambitious, I decided early on to take notes as we went along, instead of actually writing entries every night and invariably getting backed up because people wanted to go eat, go to sleep, play catch or, more importantly, play shows when the oppurtunity to write reared it's hand-cramping head. My intentions with this approach were to cut some of the fat out of this what-would-be mammoth tour account, and concentrate instead on the interesting & important. Behold, the fruit of our collective labors.
{AN EXCERPT FROM AN IMMEDIATE POST-TOUR EXCERPT FROM A DIARY OF MISCELLANEOUS THOUGHTS}
Here i am, chicago.
the last month and a half of my life has been spent sleeping on the same floors i've stomped & screamed on.
i have existed on a diet of contrasts; good music, bad timing; warm weather, cold showers; atrocious food, amazing company.
i have learned new things (surfing), conquered fears (heights), met sincerely inspiring people (the list is long), spent days without a moment to myself, drawn around my handprint in many states (from arizona to florida to new york to illinois) at many altitudes, and shot my throat every night screaming what i strive to live by, alongside lasting friends and transient, yet equally important people alike.
the alchemy of a touring band of our stature and self-definition insists a degree of routine, a kind of routine that is so abruptly different than my normal one that becoming accustomed to it requires my total devotion. in this, when it suddenly stops being viable, i am left with a gaping fucking wound of aimlessness, a tour-sized hole in my chest, a whole new/old situation to cope with.. alongside the natural relief, invigoration, longing, exhaustion, and overwhelming nostalgia. it's a strange cocktail in a tall glass, but it will go down remarkably smoothly over time.
{DEPARTURE & ARRIVAL}
Having come early to the States to soak up rays & see family and friends, I met the other members of DEATH IS NOT GLAMOROUS in Phoenix, Arizona two days after they arrived.
14.09.07 PHOENIX ARIZONA
Right now I'm pulling into Terminal 2 at Sky Harbor (of Jimmy Eat World song fame) airport in sweltering hot Phoenix, AZ, my bags and Espen's smuggled guitar in-hand, to find a 'bluish fresh-looking minivan' containing the majority of the band. I don't really know how this is going to work, but experience tells me that it will, and in the meantime I'll find a spot in the sun to stand and be decimated by it's rays and the dry, hot air of the southwest.
{TIME LAPSE}
14.09.07 YUMA ARIZONA
It's 7:45 PM and dark outside, but still stifling hot. Today we climbed a highway-side mountain and looked out over vistas that shrunk everything else to periphery, expect maybe fear of heights. It was quiet save for the wind at the top, and we ran out of water on the perilous descent and finally arrived at our van, parched and sunburned but victorious in our first challenge. Parking lot outside what is our first venue of our first show of our first tour outside of Europe. 40 degrees Celsius.
15.09.07 PHOENIX ARIZONA
We played to a surprisingly large audience of kids and stars, open air under the desert sky. It was a free show, but people were kind enough to donate money. Broadway Calls, who we met in the parking lot a few minutes before the show, were super tight and people kept asking us about Norway. Into it. In-And-Out Burger, border patrol, awake/asleep, phoenix 4 AM. Wide awake..
{TIME LAPSE}
The show in Phoenix was at a place called 'That One Place', and there were at least 5 other bands. It was really fun, and cool to play second out of five, as it gave us a chance to recuperate and then see the other bands.. but it also makes me want to play a second time. I saw a fucking huge bug!
16.09.07 SOMEWHERE NEW MEXICO
Driving towards Albuquerque, amidst huge vistas, magnificent hills and mesas, signs for 'Indian Souvenirs' and 'The UFO Café', and the occasional dry lightning strike on the horizon. Out here things are different - endless plains, endless sky. Just highways and train tracks. I want to stop at a ghost town, but I haven't seen any yet. Albuquerque tonight, then drivin' all night to San Antonio, Texas. Cuttin' through state lines!
{TIME LAPSE}
16.09.07 EN ROUTE TO TEXAS
We played a house show in Albuquerque and it was intense! Small basement room complete with a mattress against one wall, packed with kids (considering the size, I would approximate about 30, max) - it made me want to call a song 'Theme Song For a New Mexico Basement Show'. We're driving towards Texas, into the night.
17.09.07 SOMEWHERE TEXAS
Drove all night, watched the sun rise, and jumped at the occasion to finish 'A Million Little Pieces'. Slept maybe 4 hours. Truck stop cracked sink dirty mirror toothbrush San Antonio today, and the promise of the coast is keepin' my eyes wide. PS: Espen and I are friends.
{TIME LAPSE}
17.09.07 SAN ANTONIO TEXAS
The show tonight was kind of a bummer. The venue was like Bada Bing out of the Sopranos, not many people were at the show.. there were a couple kids who seemed into it, and that makes whatever show cool. Still, I'm outside the night-club-in-nowhere-land looking for a pay phone and I can't shake these vibes. It's humid and there is nothing in this area of town.
18.09.07 AUSTIN TEXAS
Outside 'RED 7', where we're playing tonight.. with six other bands. Ugh! Last night, after fruitlessly finding a working phone and resigning myself to drinking a warm can of root beer, we went back to this kid Josh who's place we stayed at's house and kind of settled down.. until the upstairs bathroom flash-flooded, soaked through the ceiling, and damn near took it down. Crazy. Went to bed at 4. Thought about this girl. Today we drove to Austin and explored - vegetarian restaurants and sex shops. Seems like a cool neighborhood. Will make the most tonight.
{TIME LAPSE}
19.09.07 AUSTIN TEXAS
The show tonight was fun. A friend of mine from middle school who lives in Texas now drove like 2 hours to surprise me at the show, and that was awesome. Latest night.
20.09.07 HOUSTON TEXAS
..Was a huge, sprawling mass of a city. Terje, Espen, and I went for a walk to check out tall buildings, slums, and to be accosted by dogs and frogs alike. The show was whack - I have to confess not really watching the other bands, something I usually endeavor to do. Talked on the phone to my sister and some friends back home and around the states. We stated in an AMAZING print-screening warehouse, watched 'Coming To America': good times. On the road to Baton Rouge Louisiana, where no one has ever heard of is I bet!
21.09.07 SOMEWHERE ALABAMA
Then, anyway. They have now! The venue, '3842', turned out to validate my suspicions as being a residence. A fairly new institution, some nice DIY kids had adopted it as a practice space / venue - great backyard for baseball throwin', the house itself in near-immaculate condition, and surprisingly good sound in the living room we played in! A band from Kansas called 'Lucy's Revenge' played; I missed them in Austin but saw them tonight and was duly impressed; indie-ish, keyboards, cool. We played next and our set was awesome because we didn't have setlists or shoes, the carpet was soft, and people seemed to be having a swell time. Siked! Broadway Calls played right after us and they played the best set so far, I'd say. Another friend from high school was at this show, and it was weird but nice seeing him again. There were a couple punks from Russia there, too. One was even from Siberia. Right on. The whole evening possessed a mood of camaraderie and good times. After talking with interesting people for a while, someone mentioned 'barging a pool' (a term I thought died with out with the child inside me, ha ha), and plans were hatched. Josh, Diamond, Matt, Mathias, Connor from Kansas, and I piled into the BC van at midnight and triangulated the coordinates of an apt. complex swimming pool nearby, making back-up plans as we drove in case the cops showed up (throw fireworks and drive fast) (feign mental retardation) (splash them). After an awesome dip and a near-miss apprehension (replete with an imagined high-speed chase), we encountered a casino/hotel via ironic music Andrew WK and Chromeo. We didn't get far, as apparently Louisiana law prohibits being pool-wet in parking lots without proper ID and a southern drawl. Fuck 'em! (Dialogue sample: 'We were just looking at the casino' 'Well, you can look at it from 'cross them tracks over yonder' - the author reserves the right to enhance this conversation). We made it home and slept well, and now we've been driving east since 9 AM. Florida! It's raining wtf love Christian!
21.09.07 TALLAHASSEE FLORIDA
So we played at a place called 'The Speed Shop' tonight. Weird connotations? No! It was a motorbike repair shop / venue, which is a pretty cool idea. The show was awesome. Two guys on acoustic guitars after Broadway Calls and us stole the show. They were so good! Bad weather, good times.
22.09.07 BOCA RATON FLORIDA
That night we drove 10 hours to Boca Raton after our set and some food - Terje and I were up front talking about Edward Said, America Sudan, girls, and listening to Alachua by Hot Water Music in Alachua and Integrity on the highway. We stopped at a gas station and saw the biggest fucking insect ever. It was like a winged cockroach, but it was also the size of my fist, and straight out of Starship Troopers. Duly disgusted, we got back in the van, sealed it, and burned rubber outta there. When we arrived in Boca we headed straight for the beach and it was pure relief. Most everyone got in and underwater boxing, horsin' around, and body surfing was in full effect. Terje and I fell asleep in the surf and I woke up intermittently to breakers, birds, kids on skim-boards, concentrated sunlight, and seashells. It felt like a day had passed, but when I woke up it was still 2. Coffee at some Italian café. Coconuts from trees. Went to the venue (The Hookah Hut, you guessed it - hookah pipes), fell asleep on a couch during the sound check. Played on the worst PA ever but the show was awesome. Rain storm right now in the parking lot! Tonight we're staying at the home of a guy named Jeff from one of the bands tonight (Protagonist). People are watching Uncle Buck and there is a cat running amok. Sleep, come swiftly.
23.09.07 MIAMI FLORIDA
Bad national park, awesome cityscape, huge lizards, someone hit Even in the head with a baseball, and we have just played a very rad show in under the awnings of a house during a thunderstorm. There is a pool here, but it's drained save for some murky puddles and trapped frogs. Even liberated a frog. The concert was so much fun, the awnings were packed, people got soaked, and I am not forgetting tonight any time soon.
{TIME LAPSE}
Drive-thrus are a complex cultural tradition that we know next to nothing about, as was apparent tonight after 3 rounds through one to get what we wanted (finally). (Dialogue sample: 'Keep the change' '...'). We're driving to Orlando now to go to Universal Studios.. FOR FREE.
24.09.07 ORLANDO FLORIDA
Universal Studios was fun. Espen and I conquered our collective and irrational fear of rollercoasters by riding everything. The Hulk, Twin Dragons, Dr. Doom, Jurassic Park, Spiderman, water rides, overpriced food, and re-rides. The usual fare for amusement parks. We were beat by 5 and left to go swim and eat burritos. Thanks to Matt's dad for letting us crash even though we're not Americans. Lethal Weapon IV. We went bowling and Espen discovered a hidden talent for strikes. I am still fucking horrific at bowling, and have resolved to avoid it from here on in.
25.09.07 ORLANDO FLORIDA
After a lazy morning and errands, we went to this place called Uncle Lou's Entertainment Hall where I waited in vain for my cousin to show up.. she never did - bummer - but hardcore kids did and it was cool to expect something closer to a 'typical hardcore show' with kids, cover songs, etc. We played with Rockfist and Years From Now, and both bands were pretty cool. Had a great time playing in our element more than usual - Uncle Lou wore earplugs but said it was interestin'. We went back to Matt's dad's and went swimming at night. Someone locked us in the pool area and we had to extricate ourselves ninja-style.
26.09.07 ATLANTA GEORGIA
The show was canceled twice, but we drove most of the day to get to ATL. Ate good vegetarian burritos, slept at some rock band guy's house, got into some shit for horsin' around, laughed about it, watched Soprano's with Josh in my bed. Ha ha, boring day.
27.09.07 ATLANTA GEORGIA
Moved some furniture for our gracious host, 'The Gregster', then got our goin' on and.. probably went to Taco Bell. Another long drive, this time to..
{TIME LAPSE}
27.09.07 CHARLOTTE NORTH CAROLINA
The venue was called the Milestone, and was right next to a 'Home-Cooked Soul Food' restaurant. We played catch in the parking lot for what could have been hours. We played first that night, which was cool, 'ceptin' that there weren't any people there except the other bands. By the end of the night there were a few more people who seemed mostly there for the drinks. Lazer made out with a girl. Bad Brains had written on the walls. We followed in their footsteps, minus the weed, bird cages on stage, and homophobia.. what I mean to say is, we wrote on the same walls. Slept at Chuck's place with an awesome dog (yo, Wiley). Walgreen's instant noodles taste only marginally better than cardboard and water.
28.09.07 VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA
Coffee in the morning: sunny & warm. Drive! Today is my sister's birthday. We stopped in a cottonfield next to a gas station and took pictures. The gas station was 'CLOSED DUE TO DEATH' - macabre! The drive was long, but with the ocean's promise in our collective hearts, we were headstrong and resolute. Man, Virginia Beach on a Friday night was alive. Lights, boardwalk, no parking, parade preparations - little did I know that I would hate this shanty town on the shores of the Atlantic by the end of the night. There were cops everywhere, directing traffic and being important. The venue, 'The Neptune', was not exactly our standard fare - a touristy 'alternative' bar with an age limit AND a dress code, nu-metal and neon drinks.. oh well, we do our thing. There was no door on the toilet, so we had to stand guard.. Met the guys in The Riot Before, who are on the rest of this tour. They seemed nice. We played first and there were a couple kids who had come out of their presumably hardcore-decorated bedrooms to check us out. Otherwise a lot of Navy jocks and alt rock bar scene hangarounds. Whatever. During our set, I made sure to make light of the dress code. After 5 songs, we were apparently 'finished'. Quizzical glances ensued, and apparently we had 'run out of time'. Wish someone had fucking told us that we were on a tight schedule before we started playing. Typically angry, I had to leave and thus missed the other two bands in favor of kicking some walls & cars, then storming past the tourist-traps and junk food tents down to the water, where I couldn't see people to direct my anger at. Full moon, crashing waves, dark ocean. Love it. Later we hung out with said hardcore-kids and Matt Savage Rips. It was decided that at least a portion of us had to go swimming, despite shark warnings and a particularly biting wind from the northeast, so we ran back to the van to free our bodies of most clothing and hit the beach. It was invigorating. Huge waves in the dark.. the perfect way to save a night. Went back to Matt's place in Norfolk and the dude made us burritos at like 1:30 in the morning.. too nice. Thanks. Slept good.
29.09.07 SOMEWHERE VIRGINIA
Had breakfast at a café with Erin, Matt's girlfriend. Met the promoter from last night and the other band guys and propositioned the idea of 'beach delights'. After some deliberation, we were taken to a great stretch of beach and spent a couple hours battling the currents. It is safe to say that, although each mammals, as a collective we are largely amphibious. Now we are driving to Danville, Nowhere, VA, for a show that 'no one' knows about. Listening to Ritual, eating an apple. Go figure! Shoplifters of the world, unite and take over FU.
[TIME LAPSE}
..I saw another enormous bug in a convenience store and pointed it out to the employees, who were astounded. Danville is a small town, but it looks to be a nice place and the venue is this: atari collection on display, heavy metal on the PA, we have just had a royal rumble and some sodas. In layman's terms: radical. I'm in the van watching kids kick the curb and talk about whatever, illuminated by the occasional set of headlights; a closed movie theater advertising a double feature. They still have those? Uh oh, here comes trouble.. and his name is Espen.
{TIME LAPSE}
Okay. The Riot Before played and I was taken completely by surprise: they were fucking incred, and the response they got showed it. This movement is moving. The next band, a local, played for an obscenely long amount of time, and I have to confess not hearing one note of it, as I was in the car with Espen moshing to Absolution and American Nightmare. Finally, we were cleared to play, and by then I think people were sick of the band before of playing for so long. Concert conundrum! To solve this out-of-sorts mood, we started a pillow fight during our set that lasted the entire concert. Lackluster aura, begone. Shoe-shedding couch dives ensued, as well as gas mask moshing (huh?), TV almost-throwing, and non-stop motion. This might be my favorite show of the tour, I thought, and in retrospect I think it was. Mathias nailed me in the head with the bass. Ai ai ai.. Could not stop smiling. Talked with the guys who owned & ran the venue after our set, and they seemed like great guys with a passion for roleplaying games, modifying toys, and measuring weight in 'bears'. Danville is apparently 'the city of churches'. Broadway Calls' set was, in keeping with the general theme here in Danville's disenfranchised ghetto of Peter Pans (in a good way), incredible. Soda spraying good times. After the show we went to Freddy's parents' place and hung out in a 'yakuzi' until my eyes closed.
30.09.07 BALTIMORE MARYLAND
Long drive. Mayhem & seclusion, trying to acclimate. Got to the venue late after a good nap. 'The Charm City Art Space' is awesome. Beautiful evening. Our concert was very fun. Met some familiar faces from bands in the area, hung out, now on the way to Kate, Jordan, and Ramsay's place (Frisby House), where we are sharing the floor space with another 12 people or something. More the merrier. It feels late, but it isn't. Stayed up late eating TRB spaghetti and writing a spectacular essay on print-making, guitar, idle drawing. Slept in the basement.
31.09.07 DOYLESTOWN PENNSYLVANIA
Got up early! Hung out with Rover the dog, all guns porchside. After a couple hours of calfing and some great pancakes, we got on the long and winding road that leads to South Street, Philadelphia. Vegan pizza, record stores, Doylestown. We are playing at a place called 'Siren Records' tonight. Looking forward to browsing their seleccíon. Hey, we are here..
{TIME LAPSE}
Show was awesome. Hung out with Ryan X, Blakslee, and last but not least, the Frisby House occupants! Long drive. So cool. Played with a band called The Front Line, and they were good. Listened to Refused and Jawbreaker in Blakslee's car with her drunk friend and Even on the way back to Philadelphia and fresh pretzels. Alright.
1.10.07 NEW BRUNSWICK MASSACHUSETTS
Cloudless sky. Killer breakfast, spent the day in Philly, seeing the sights. Saw a guy with a crazy face. When we got to New Brunswick, I hung out with Ryan X in a riverbed and it reminded me of when I was a kid and hung out in the riverbed behind my house with my best friend. Should have stayed longer. Show was, true to the song, in a basement (at a guy named Aryan, I kid you not,'s house) and was attended by fun people and two beavers. Aryan was not racist, obviously. There was also a banister with a mysterious face hidden in the swirling patterns of the wood, that looked like Ted Kazynski or Jesus (so sick of seeing this guy!), depending on who you trust. Rest of the night was equally fun - we ate sunflower seeds and drank sodas / 40s in the backyard / parking lot, played 20 questions (questionable), hung out with a kid who was stoned for the first time in his life (a fact known because he said this AND I QUOTE: "Is there a show here tonight? Whoa.. cool. Are there girls? I'm so high.. this is my first time, so.. yeah. Hehe.. I like girls. I'm gonna go talk to one. This is the first time I got high.") Afterwards we witnessed / recounted in-van altercations and went to get disgustingly, horrifically good sandwiches from a place known, with an aire of reverence and infamy combined, as 'The Grease Trucks'. Seriously, they were trucks! That sold greasy sandwiches with whatever your heart desired plus fries in them. There is are twin ongoing battles raging within me: one is the grease truck sandwich versus my body, and one is the thought of another grease truck sandwich versus my mind. Went to a bar and hit the jukebox for all it was worth. Rest of the night has been squandered (or spent wisely) on telling disgusting and entirely-untrue stories ('I know a girl that gave birth to a lobster') from our respective sleeping bags, almost dying of laughter, and feeling the effects of said horrifically pretty-good sandwiches.
2.10.07 ASBURY PARK NEW JERSEY
So we spent some of today at 'The Aryan Nation' (what he called his house) and in New Brunswick, then went to Red Bank to check out the Quik-Stop from Clerks (novelty wore off fast). Asbury Park in the late afternoon, fog creeping in from the sea, it feels like Maine. Greetings from Asbury Park - obligated to write that. Show was at a bowling alley, tater-tots were consumed, pac-man was played, bathroom was used as a conference arena, I broke my bowling oath but it didn't count because we didn't keep score and they were showing The Big Lebowski via projector. Broadway Calls and The Riot Before blew us out of the water tonight. At music, not bowling.. we have Espen.
3.10.07 BROOKLYN NEW YORK
So hot. Went in to the city early to sightsee. Saw the usual NYC fare. Show is at a place called Sea Lab 187, a residence in some crazy neighborhood. Place is awesome, facilities are top-notch, we are playing in the backyard, right now the PA is on a Jawbreaker kick. Lovin' it.
{TIME LAPSE}
My fucking tooth is broken. Tonight's show was awesome! Broadway Calls got shot with paintball guns from an opposing apartment building (we were spared, coincidentally, although the challenge was issued - this is obviously an accurate reflection of musical tightness and professionalism), our set was awesome, The Riot Before ripped as usual, and the last band of the night played a Bad Brains song of which part of my tooth was a casualty. I put the shattered fragments in the soil at the root of an illegal plant that was hypothetically growing in the garden, so that when said illegal plant is hypothetically consumed, typically through burning / inhalation, the consumer of said plant would hypothetically also be consuming part of me. Staying in Queens with some very nice people and a very nice dog. Elliott Smith songs and I am drifting.
4.10.07 LONG ISLAND NEW YORK
I woke up with a dog lying next to me. Spent some time in the city before we had to leave to make an early show in (on?) Long Island, at some place called The Vintage Lounge. Went to an Army Surplus store which was frightening (they sold hand grenades and 9/11 memorials and hated us). The show was great. Went back to Jess's place again tonight. Walked the dog.
5.10.07 AMHERST, MASSACHUSETTS
Woke up early and wandered around the area enjoying the sun - 'early start's usually mean a lot of waiting for people to finish showering, packing, eating, drinking tea, and botched coordination. It was nice to escape it. We eventually said goodbye to the house, the people, the dog, the garden, the train that thundered over our heads every hour or so, shaking the furnishings of the room, and drove to Amherst, where we were playing at some school. Hello, Newbury Comics, light rain, tofu burritos, people from Boston, weird local bands. Fun! We stayed at Moe's house (and her neighbor's house, technically) and didn't go to sleep forever because there were clothes to be washed, wheelchairs to be played with, music industry downfalls to defend, and FLIES. Yes, FLIES. EVERYWHERE. The air was thick. I have no problem with the odd fly here and there, and I don't mean to sound crass or insulting, but this was crazy! It was so bad that I went to the neighbor's house with Lazer to sleep - little did I know that the neighbor's house was also an indoor organic garden / antique collection / BLACK HOLE OF FLIES. I guess the darkness obscured them, but I woke up at around 6 AM after a couple hours of sleep to being swarmed by the bastards. Looked over and honestly though Lazer had died during the night and was slowly being consumed by them. He was fucking covered. Like a Native American bagel covered in poppy seeds.. but poppy seeds that vomit on you and then eat said vomit. I woke him up and we narrowly escaped with our lives and most of our belongings, to sit outside in our jackets (nippy morning) and read / mutter incoherently / shudder. This was a traumatic experience worthy of recanting. Eventually, we got bored with trying to sleep in bad chairs outside and borrowed a couple nearby bikes to cruise around campus. We found a giant bell and rang it, and the sun was just coming up over the trees. Horrible fly-awakening to serene morning bike ride was a strange transition, but it served it's purpose. Later, we played basketball (another B-sport that I am terrible at) with our shirts off. Before we left, an 'incident' occurred that I have decided not to go into detail about. Suffice to say that this 'incident' was even more traumatic than the fly-thing for the person involved, as well as caught fully on digital video / documented by camera. The end.
6.10.07 PITTSFIELD MASSACHUSETTS
Nice town, weird show. We played in the back of a Mexican restaurant with a couple pretty mediocre bands and one atrocity that crossed the line from bad to hilarious with ease.. until the gimmick died off. Most memorable aspect of the evening was the sound of a borrowed skateboard over the pavement dividers. Drove after the show, in the midst of college-town shenanigans which I'm glad we fucking missed.
7.10.07 SYRACUSE NEW YORK
Where the fuck are we? This is what I awoke to: gridlocked by sleeping members of the van, all seats leaned back save for mine, pitch black outside, raucous noise from a nearby house. Is this a prank? This could be a good prank. No, they're asleep. Bad air, hot car..doors locked. For a while I didn't want to open them for fear that the whir of the electric locks, or even worse, the automatic lights when the door is slid open, would wake up the other guys, but my claustrophobia / need to relieve myself got the best of me after a couple seconds of caution. Lucky, no one woke up. I see a shadow moving ahead of me, and make out The Riot Before Garrett in the darkness, fumbling with the door of their van. After a brief inquiry, it turns out we are in Syracuse, it's 3 am, and the house was noisy and smoky and animal-populated, explaining the abundance of bodies in our van. I jumped into theirs and listened to a good conversation until I dropped back out into sleep.
{TIME LAPSE}
Up early, shower, talk to dog wearing a shirt (something I disdain), read book on stoop, make coffee.. time passes. Coffee shop by the house we are playing at is vegan-friendly, punk, and delicious. Played in a basement tonight at a really nice guy's house with these two awesome bands called Broadway Calls and The Riot Before. Check them out. Afterwards, we all ate burritos and Espen spilled a bag of salt in the van. Said 'cocaine' out of the window and was accosted by a man on a bicycle. Oh, Syracuse!
8.10.07 BUFFALO NEW YORK
Get to this house and meet Will, the guy putting on the show. Basement: rad. Late afternoon, chilly air, skateboard, the kind of sunlight that makes everything golden in seconds. Kids playing basketball in the street made me miss work back home, miraculously. Some old guy who used to be in a good band and makes a living writing / talking was doing the latter somewhere close by that night, so all indications pointed towards a sparse show-up. Thanks, Henry. Set up, wrote our band's name on the walls, put our merch table outside, played the show, then jammed our van full of willing participants and went to a pizza place that apparently had good vegan options. After poring over the menus and figuring out our orders, we found out that what we wanted was exorbitantly expensive. Now, Norway is a pretty expensive country, and everything in America is cheap for us.. but 30 dollars for a pizza? Get the fuck outta here! To counter this robbery on the pizza place's part, a few beverages were stolen and a plaque was almost unscrewed from the wall and taken. Also foresee the bathroom being defaced somehow, as it is apparently someone in our collective troupe's trademark. As for the pizza? Bland, tasteless, cardboard-ish. The 'Vegan Cheese*' wasn't entirely vegan. Great thanks fuck you. Went to some dive where they had an open-mic tribute night, a hunting videogame, and a pool table. Time passed, uneventfully. I solidified my reputation as a bad pool-player and read the same student news gazette 3 times. Ugh, get me outta here. Every person who took to the stage was worse than the last. Went to Will's place and 'watched' a movie (by this, I of course mean 'put a movie on, then fell asleep in a comfortable chair / on Josh'), entered my cocoon of a sleeping bag, and was gone.
9.10.07 LAKEWOOD OHIO
I am awake too early! Nothing is going on and I don't want to wake anyone up, so I am browsing this kid's records and finishing a book. Going to go on a coffee quest soon, 'cause I can tell that there isn't any here.
{TIME LAPSE}
Okay, this is the first day of autumn in my life anno 2007. It's brisk and chilly out, but the sun is up and the halloween decorations are out in the neighbors' lawns. East Coast, take me out. I walked to Dunkin' Doughnuts to check out their coffee (horrible, watered down) and a bran muffin (it said 'Brain Muffin' on the label, good one), enjoying the October-ness of the day. Saw Even on the way back, presumably doing the same. There was a funeral home called 'Holds & BURY Funeral Home', capital letters intact - this town is on a roll when it comes to the grotesque/corny). Sat on the front step, read my book. Checked out a witch-owned (I swear I am not making this up) café with the Laze and Even X Score; they had spellbooks and weird decor, and were very friendly, although we suspected that it was all a front. Obviously, I didn't touch their coffee. As if I'm falling for that..
{TIME LAPSE}
Seriously, soaked. We just checked out Niagara Falls and it was pretty awesome - didn't think we'd be allowed to take the elevator down the foot of the falls and walk up the soaked and slick walkways and staircases to the 'vantage point' (where all you got was wet, especially if you were Matt and someone tore your poncho off). Good times! Now we are going, because it's a long drive to Cleveland / Lakewood. Also, our show in Chicago (the first one) has been canceled. Eff that. 'Get us as far as far can be..'
{TIME LAPSE}
Lakewood. Outside the house we're playing at tonight, and it is raining. Nice house, nice people.
{TIME LAPSE}
Show tonight was awesome. Espen became very attached to a Dr. Pepper hat he found and played in, but was denied purchasing rights by it's owner. I am looking back now, and this was a defining night of the tour; nothing less than the usual fare happened, but the usual fare, when done right, is more than enough. Happy people, energy, crowded rooms, loud n' fast. True love. Spent the rest of the night watching The Office and I couldn't stop thinking about how I wished we could keep doing this, with these people, because I wasn't even close to being ready to pack up and go home.
10.10.07 CHICAGO ILLINOIS
So the Lawrence Arms and American Steel are playing tonight at the Metro = our show is canceled We still have a place to stay though, and plenty of things to see in sweet home Chicago. Remember Ferris Bueller's Day Off? I was hoping our day would be like that, but we arrived late, so instead a few of us went to the aforementioned show. I was actually expecting great things, because the Lawrence Arms are pretty rad. Did not expect a huge 'rock' venue, expensive drinks, barriers in front of the stage, and not enough room to breath. Ugh. The other guys enjoyed it though, so it's cool, and it was a good opportunity to hand out flyers to our next Chicago show, a few days later. Wrigley Field right next door. We stayed at 'Fuck Mountain', the future show's venue, that night, and cased the joint. Verdict: awesome; a worthy location for our final show of the tour! Big apartment / studio, old building, super high ceilings that facilitated basketball indoors, and a harrowing journey up shaky wrought-iron walkways and ladders to the spectacular view of the roof. I already love this place! Hello sleep.
11.10.07 MADISON WISCONSIN
Hello Madison. After a nice day walking a lot and exploring the intricacies of Chicago, we got burritos and then went to Wisconsin. Get this, we played in a basement. Isn't that crazy? Show was great: the resident band of the house, The Gusto, were so fucking tight, and the other bands that night (TRB, BC) killed it as well. Hung out with some kids from near and far and went to get eats 'downtown' - Madison, as it turns out, is not that big, and I guess subsists mostly on the hordes of college kids who live in and around it. There is, however, an almost-to-scale version of the Capitol Building here, and stores that close early. Our GPS fails us, episode 412. Claimed a perfect corner to curl up and read in, despite the ruckus from the avid drinkers / smokers outside. For those of you keeping tabs on Lazer's whereabouts, he was nowhere to be seen all night, and really tired the next morning. We suspect shenanigans.
12.10.07 MILWAUKEE WISCONSIN
Woke up, went downtown, checked out a really good record store nestled between your run-of-the-mill shops in any small college town, America. They had some good stuff. After pacing the main street for a few hours, we got in the van and drove to Milwaukee, where we parked next to a giant American Pride mural with a crying eagle on it. 'America'. We are playing at a place called 'The Borg Collective' tonight, and it looks closed. Oh wait..
{TIME LAPSE}
This is a nice joint. Art lines the walls, there is a punk rock / alternative jazz jukebox, and.. no one showed up, save a couple kids. Oh well, fun ensued nonetheless. Awesome sets tonight, and we all lost our shit to each other's songs and some good in-song trumpet improvisation. Borg Collective, have our hearts. They are yours. My impression of Milwaukee is neon bar signs in the darkness, silent smokers hunched up to keep out the cold, smoking manholes, freight trains.
13.10.07 CHICAGO ILLINOIS
So this, the last day of this immense, intense tour, has arrived. Drove in to Chicago early, checked out the city again, went to Fuck Mtn to set up our gear. My sister and her friends cut class and drove far to come to this show. Our friend Håvard from Norway is here too. Greg, who lives here, is an awesome guy. Excited.
{TIME LAPSE}
We broke the stage. Off the hook. I look forward to having new songs, because it's shows like this that require doubled set lists. Everyone seemed to have a good time, and I know for sure that we did. The other bands were predictably amazing, and seeing them for the last time (in a while, anyway) made the experience all the more vital. I hope the blood stains on the floor are never washed off. Afterwards, we shot some hoops, traded some merch and email addresses, took pictures, joked about the future of our endeavors, then went to get some food before people went their separate ways. Second only to being born, this is the most important thing that has ever happened to me in Chicago. Thanks, Fuck Mountain.
...POST SCRIPT
Best tour yet. Keep 'em coming. Our hearts to everyone who helped us out along the way, and mostly to our friends in Broadway Calls (+ Lazer) and The Riot Before. Never stop.
CHRISTIAN
'The time is so little, the time belongs to US'
pictures from this epic journey will be uploaded eventually to flickr.com/photos/christianpma
stay tuned.
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